Mothers Who Have Lost a Child
Many mothers have written me about their experiences with their children on the other side. Invariably, these afterlife encounters bring them peace, joy, and enormous wonder. Mothers who do have contact with their deceased child recover better than those who don’t. In fact, many of them go on with fresh energy to develop their intuitions, reinforced by following the research now known as afterlife studies. The result of this optimal reaction to their loss is typically a transformation in the way they understand reality. Their lives are changed forever through their child’s death.
Other mothers write because they have not had contact. They write out of extreme grief, worry, anguish, utter helplessness. They don’t know where to turn for comfort. Some of them lost their children from accidents, others from drug overdoses or suicide, still others from illnesses. Whatever the case, they are devastated, confused, often guilt-ridden, and very, very injured. They are desperate to know what happened to their child after death. My own mother went through this twice. In fact, I was born while she was in deep mourning over the death of her son the year before. My prenatal, infant and early childhood experiences were seeped in the atmosphere of sorrow that later led to my development as a medium. My second brother died twenty years before my mother passed. While she lay in a coma, he arrived and lifted her out of her body. She died on his birthday, a sign to my sister and me that she had reunited with him. I know the suffering mothers go through and I know without a doubt that there is no deeper pain.
The posts in this series come from mothers who have either written me or with whom I have worked directly. In all cases I have been given permission for their stories to be heard. In order to preserve privacy, full names are not given. The posts are offered here to serve women in grief. Through them, the many faceted experiences mothers have had, the dreams before or after their child’s death, the signs, the sense of their child being present, of their children speaking to them, kissing them, hugging them, even helping them, reinforce the experiences of others. The more grieving mothers learn about how connecting with their children works, the more mothers will have those experiences, and the fuller those experiences will be. Their combined accounts go a long way in validating these events with the afterlife, a validation that mothers in grief crave. The accounts also seem to give others permission to have afterlife encounters with their children. In fact, they seem to work as invitations.
If you are a mother who has had an afterlife encounter with your child, please let me know. If you are in need, I invite you to write me. In either case, you can write directly at the bottom of this post, or you can go to Tell Me Your Story on the home page and write me there. I will respond to you personally.
In the meantime, here is the post I wrote for grieving mothers on Mother’s Day:
There is nothing harder to endure than the death of a child. If you have lost a child, your grief is likely to surge on Mother’s Day. As a medium, I have had the privilege of bringing parents together with their children on the other side. I am also privileged to be the recipient of countless reports from mothers who have had spontaneous encounters, signs, dreams, or direct communication with their children and how these events changed their lives.
These experiences convey crucial messages to us from children who have passed. First, they want you to know that they are alive! Not only alive, but better than ever. Most appear to their parents as young adults with a mature ability to communicate that far exceeds our own, even if they died in infancy. They reassure us that their deaths were life plans made before they were conceived. In fact, parents often report that their children had announced their own deaths a day or two before a fatal accident or knew exactly when their infirmity would take them. Once they have passed, they invariably feel sorrow for what you are going through. They want you to know that it was not your fault. There is nothing you could have done to extend their lives.
Bereavement counseling has changed in the last two decades. Previously, counselors advised a complete cut with the deceased. Now they realize that staying close to the deceased minimizes or eliminates grief. New bereavement therapies have even developed that go so far as to induce communication with the departed. Most important, mothers who have discovered on their own how to directly communicate with their children recover quickly from mourning. They know that their relationships have not ended. They know that their child will be with them for the rest of their lives. They know their child is alive, safe, and thriving. They know that they will reunite with their children when they too die. In the meantime, children desperately want their parents to be happy again, to not lose their lives in pain and remorse.
Most of us hold on to memories of a person’s last dying moments. These memories are usually intrusive and cause enormous distress. If you are remembering those moments of your child’s death, especially on Mother’s Day, know that those moments are now insignificant to children on the other side, no more traumatic than getting over any illness. When that memory intrudes, immediately switch to what your intuition tells you of your child’s present condition—vibrant and joyful. It will instantly alleviate your grief. If you should have strong waves of grief chances are high that your child is right by you. Communicate. Close your eyes. See your child’s face in your mind’s eye and speak to your child from your strongest emotion. Ask questions. Get them to tell you what it’s like for them where they are now. You will be surprised! And your grief will transform into euphoria. Once you have broken the fear barrier of afterlife communication, you will be able to make contact again and again. Your loss will become the springboard of a powerful spiritual awakening. That too was part of the plan.
jeanne cary
2014-11-15 @ 10:07 PM
I lost my 25 year old son Kyle 10-01-10. I have done so many things that have helped me heal and continue to heal. I have shared so many memories of him and talked so much about him to anyone who would listen. Most people want to listen. The memories I share are great memories that if Kyle were still here I would be sharing memories of him. They are awesome funny memories. Because I keep him in my thoughts it helps me to move forward and it has created a connection to him. I receive so many signs from him I started a journal. The more I keep his memory alive the more signs I receive from him. My faith and awareness has become so strong I can hardly believe it. But I wouldn’t want it any other way:-) Keep The Faith. I would never in a million years have thought I could be where I am after Kyle died. But he is with me and I am thankful to have this special connection. I pray that those who are feeling the pain I felt will feel the Peace that I feel today
Julia
2014-11-17 @ 2:07 PM
Jeanne! What a gorgeous message. I’m sure it will help many others. Thank you so much!
Juanitasadlier
2015-04-14 @ 8:27 PM
I’m a mother who lost my son to suicide in April 29 2013. He was 22. I have been experiencing some things that are hard to talk about. I feel that I don’t fit in anywhere. I believe that my son has transferred information to me that has affected my perception of this world. I have changed. Out of all my children he looks the most like me and this haunts me. Sometimes I feel looking at him I see more of him than myself.
Julia
2015-04-23 @ 8:48 AM
Juanita, What you are experiencing is normal for what you are going through. And you are far from alone. Suicide among young male adults claims more deaths than automobile accidents. So many mothers who have lost a son to suicide are joining together to help each other. They write books about their communication with their sons. You should attempt to communicate more directly with him. Look on my homepage at the bottom for a quick how-to on after-death communication. Your perceptions will continue to change. Many mothers have found their lives charged with spiritual energy and purpose.
L.K
2015-05-03 @ 6:08 AM
hello,
I lost my son 37 years old dentist to suicide. July first is 4 years I lost him. At the begining I was talking to him all the time in my head. But now it is less. I don’t know sometimes I am telling myself it is my voice who is answering my question. I am devastated. There is not one day I don’t think of him. I cry and cry and the only think I want front God first to punish my daughter in law who pushed my son to kill himself and left with all his money then for myself to die and join him. God knows how much I suffer. Maybe my son knows too. I have been reading since 4 years ago all over Internet to see where he is now. I believe now that I will join him when my time comes. And I hope mytime comes the sooner the better. I know and feel all the parents lost their child to suicide. I know their deep pain. I blame myself. My husband and I blame ourself. Please do not tell me it is not your fault. Because he told us about his wife of 3 years. How she is acting with him and how she pushed him to depression but we did not do anything about it. We did not let him divorce her. So it is all fault too. We did not help him . I pray to God that he forgave me. I love him so much and I miss him so much. I wait for the day soon that he comes and I leave with him.
Julia
2015-05-03 @ 3:31 PM
Dear LK, I am so sorry your pain is so extreme. There is nothing harder on humans than death of a child, especially by suicide and accidents.
Please know, however, that your pain will not keep you connected to your son. Many people are afraid if they return to any sort of normalcy after a death, they will lose their connection to the deceased. This is NOT so. And it may be your involvement with the pain that is screening your son out. Your grief is not just grief, but also rage and guilt. In order to return to this world with some measure of peace, you will need help. I would strongly recommend you go to an Induced After-Death Communication Therapist. There is bound to be one in Canada. These therapists are trained to put you in direct contact with your beloved on the other side. When that happens, which can take no more than a minute, communication is so powerful that resolution comes as a result. I am sure your son wants to help you. He will be there when you are ready.
The link for this revolutionary type of therapy is: http://www.induced-adc.com/
It was discovered working with veterans suffering from severe PTSD.
I hope this helps a little. The point is, you don’t have to live this way and your son, for sure, does not want it for you either.
Michele
2017-01-17 @ 8:39 PM
I have lost my daughter Alexis to a horrible car accident. She was only 19 she had her whole life ahead of her. It’s only been 8 months to the day. I feel lost and don’t understand why. I would have given my life for her. I have so many questions and will never get the answers that’s what is killing me the most. I was not able to say goodbye or that I love you.
Julia
2017-03-05 @ 10:50 AM
Dear Michele, People react in so many ways to such a devastating loss. Be patient with yourself. In the meantime, use your strongest emotion to contact Alexis. You don’t have to say goodbye. Say HELLO! See how she is NOW. She is more alive now than she ever was. Go to the bottom of my homepage for tips on how to communicate. Let me know what happens!
I’m an so very sorry for the pain you are in.
Julia
Kathy Clauson
2018-05-11 @ 12:31 AM
My son Jonathan, my only child, took his own life on February 3, 2010, nine days afrer his 19th birthday. He was very kind and had a big heart and more than anything, he really just wanted to fit in and find some good friends he could count on. He was very creative, had a superior IQ, and an analytical mind, and although school subjects bored him, it was clear to me that he was going to do great things someday. I can’t say we always got along, but I would have gladly given my life for him. The last time we talked was an argument, which I will forever regret. I was at work the day he died. He had been with my parents and my mom called to tell me he had taken off in his car and had somehow managed to get a rifle out of my parents’ locked closet in their bedroom. I left work and tried to look for him. Something told me where to find him, but when I arrived, it was too late. That night our home felt black, like it had been shrouded with thick black velvet. I tried to sleep but ended up in his room around 3am. I looked out his window and his punching bag, hanging in his favorite old tree, was swinging back and forth, full force, as if someone had pushed it hard or kick-boxed it. I woke my husband and he saw it too. I remember saying–“he made it to the other side–he’s telling us he is ok.” That was eight years ago and although we have witnessed MANY unexplained events, I have never been able to see my son or talk with him. I believe that would give me so much peace and help me dissolve the emptiness, the grief, the regret, and the feeling I could have prevented his death or been a better mother somehow. I truly appreciate all the clever signs we believe he has sent us to tell us he’s still here with us. One of most remarkable things happened the first mother’s day after his death. Five years before Jonathan died, he and my husband had planted a mulberry tree for Mother’s Day. The winters were harsh and it only lived a couple years but we never cut it down. On the morning of Mother’s Day 2010, I thought I saw blooms on the dead tree. I ran out there and the little tree was alive and it was covered with fragrant pink blooms. That was the greatest gift of my life and I know Jonathen somehow made that happen. My life has been split into “before”and “after” and I still miss him. And in spite if the truly inventive signs from him I still feel lost without him.
Julia Assante
2018-05-12 @ 9:31 PM
Dear Kathy, thank you for your eloquent and very touching account. Do not blame yourself! An argument won’t mean anything to your son. He understands. I’ve worked with a lot of your men who took their own lives. Often they are not sure why! If you want to make contact with him without waiting for him to show up, look at the steps I give at the bottom of my homepage. Or read my book. I have 5 chapters alone dedicated to afterlife communication. You can do it! Julia