Mothers Who Have Lost a Child
Many mothers have written me about their experiences with their children on the other side. Invariably, these afterlife encounters bring them peace, joy, and enormous wonder. Mothers who do have contact with their deceased child recover better than those who don’t. In fact, many of them go on with fresh energy to develop their intuitions, reinforced by following the research now known as afterlife studies. The result of this optimal reaction to their loss is typically a transformation in the way they understand reality. Their lives are changed forever through their child’s death.
Other mothers write because they have not had contact. They write out of extreme grief, worry, anguish, utter helplessness. They don’t know where to turn for comfort. Some of them lost their children from accidents, others from drug overdoses or suicide, still others from illnesses. Whatever the case, they are devastated, confused, often guilt-ridden, and very, very injured. They are desperate to know what happened to their child after death. My own mother went through this twice. In fact, I was born while she was in deep mourning over the death of her son the year before. My prenatal, infant and early childhood experiences were seeped in the atmosphere of sorrow that later led to my development as a medium. My second brother died twenty years before my mother passed. While she lay in a coma, he arrived and lifted her out of her body. She died on his birthday, a sign to my sister and me that she had reunited with him. I know the suffering mothers go through and I know without a doubt that there is no deeper pain.
The posts in this series come from mothers who have either written me or with whom I have worked directly. In all cases I have been given permission for their stories to be heard. In order to preserve privacy, full names are not given. The posts are offered here to serve women in grief. Through them, the many faceted experiences mothers have had, the dreams before or after their child’s death, the signs, the sense of their child being present, of their children speaking to them, kissing them, hugging them, even helping them, reinforce the experiences of others. The more grieving mothers learn about how connecting with their children works, the more mothers will have those experiences, and the fuller those experiences will be. Their combined accounts go a long way in validating these events with the afterlife, a validation that mothers in grief crave. The accounts also seem to give others permission to have afterlife encounters with their children. In fact, they seem to work as invitations.
If you are a mother who has had an afterlife encounter with your child, please let me know. If you are in need, I invite you to write me. In either case, you can write directly at the bottom of this post, or you can go to Tell Me Your Story on the home page and write me there. I will respond to you personally.
In the meantime, here is the post I wrote for grieving mothers on Mother’s Day:
There is nothing harder to endure than the death of a child. If you have lost a child, your grief is likely to surge on Mother’s Day. As a medium, I have had the privilege of bringing parents together with their children on the other side. I am also privileged to be the recipient of countless reports from mothers who have had spontaneous encounters, signs, dreams, or direct communication with their children and how these events changed their lives.
These experiences convey crucial messages to us from children who have passed. First, they want you to know that they are alive! Not only alive, but better than ever. Most appear to their parents as young adults with a mature ability to communicate that far exceeds our own, even if they died in infancy. They reassure us that their deaths were life plans made before they were conceived. In fact, parents often report that their children had announced their own deaths a day or two before a fatal accident or knew exactly when their infirmity would take them. Once they have passed, they invariably feel sorrow for what you are going through. They want you to know that it was not your fault. There is nothing you could have done to extend their lives.
Bereavement counseling has changed in the last two decades. Previously, counselors advised a complete cut with the deceased. Now they realize that staying close to the deceased minimizes or eliminates grief. New bereavement therapies have even developed that go so far as to induce communication with the departed. Most important, mothers who have discovered on their own how to directly communicate with their children recover quickly from mourning. They know that their relationships have not ended. They know that their child will be with them for the rest of their lives. They know their child is alive, safe, and thriving. They know that they will reunite with their children when they too die. In the meantime, children desperately want their parents to be happy again, to not lose their lives in pain and remorse.
Most of us hold on to memories of a person’s last dying moments. These memories are usually intrusive and cause enormous distress. If you are remembering those moments of your child’s death, especially on Mother’s Day, know that those moments are now insignificant to children on the other side, no more traumatic than getting over any illness. When that memory intrudes, immediately switch to what your intuition tells you of your child’s present condition—vibrant and joyful. It will instantly alleviate your grief. If you should have strong waves of grief chances are high that your child is right by you. Communicate. Close your eyes. See your child’s face in your mind’s eye and speak to your child from your strongest emotion. Ask questions. Get them to tell you what it’s like for them where they are now. You will be surprised! And your grief will transform into euphoria. Once you have broken the fear barrier of afterlife communication, you will be able to make contact again and again. Your loss will become the springboard of a powerful spiritual awakening. That too was part of the plan.
Haydee Stanovich
2013-05-21 @ 4:38 AM
Hi, I am one of those mother’s who lost a beautiful daughter at the age of 6 1/2, almost 10 months ago. She came to me the same night of her accident. I had never lost someone so close, and I knew immediately it was her. I would be more than happy to share my story with you. Haydee Stanovich.
Julia
2013-05-22 @ 10:17 AM
Haydee, we would be more than happy to hear your story. What was your encounter like? Did you see something or feel something? Tell us! I also would like to know how you are doing and if that encounter changed you or helped you in any way.
Linda H
2013-06-15 @ 5:09 PM
Julia A.,
I wrote to Julia M. before i saw this link — so here is my story again. I loved reading the synopses of Julia M.’s experiences because I wish for anything like them myself. My 19 year old grandson took his own life a little more than 6 months ago. We had a special relationship his whole — that I feel so privileged to have had now — but resulted from difficult circumstances in his life that included an absent mom and difficulties that I always hoped would get better for him. He and his dad (my son) were very close until the last year or so of his life when family circumstances with the blended family they worked so hard to create went badly and my grandson came to live with us. He was battling some depression, a break up with the girl he deeply loved and thought he would marry, was out of step with his friends who had moved on to college and, while he seemed to feel safe and comfortable with us, was so very lonely. Still, he tried hard while he was here, was getting treatment for his depression and was working at the same place where I work until he could enter college in January. On the day after he took his college placement exams, he asked to stay home from work for some R & R, as he called it. He had even arranged it with his boss. He seemed so good — he got up and showered and ate breakfast and talked about how he had done on the placement exams. We left him behind that day to enjoy a day off with video games, his bike and whatever else he had planned. Instead, he proceeded to binge drink, text his friends, make a phone call to his girlfriend and then hang himself in our garage. The circumstances of his death are complex within the family — everyone is in so much pain and we aren’t able to support each other or be with each other much these days. The family traditions are all gone and I don’t see my son or my other grandchildren all that often anymore. My husband and I have grown comfortable again in our home — but others find it difficult to be here because its where Zachary last lived and died and his presence still feels so strong. We have not touched his room and his clothes and things are both a comfort and bring incredible longing and pain. I have a hard time leaving the house for extended periods when we need to leave town, for example, because I feel like we’re leaving him alone and behind. So, I take a couple of his things with me when we leave town — his watch, a hoodie, or whatever. Julia M.’s dreams about her Riley cooking at the stove really spoke to me — that’s what Zachary always did, too, and while I haven’t had her vision, I am reminded daily of Zachary in the kitchen at the stove and refrigerator all the time — or making coffee or playing on the XBox or coming down the stairs. But I haven’t heard from him — in dreams, in visions, in doggie experiences or any other “coincidental” way. I am reading your latest book now in the hopes that I can open up more to such experiences as I suspect they may be happening all the time and I’m just not aware. But, I also think the grieving has been so all consuming that maybe there isn’t “room” for Zachary to come to me in some way — but I so wish for that. I just want to know he’s okay and happy and finally at peace. It haunts me. I’m wondering if you have any recommendations for practices of some kind that might put me in a place to be more receptive to Zachary should he choose to come through. I have read, like Julia M. dozens of books about life after death. I have also read a lot about suicide, about mediums and after-death communication and also like Julia M. I even went the angel route for a while. I have been hoping that increased understanding from all this reading might open me up to hearing from Zachary — and sometimes I think I’m not hearing from him because his exceptional death has kept him too busy in the after life doing his work first before he can relax and interact with us here again. I am just desperate to know that he’s okay. Thanks for whatever response you might be able to give.
Linda H.
Julia
2013-06-22 @ 2:14 PM
Linda, please forgive me for not responding to you sooner. You experience is so similar to one that involves a grandfather, his son, and his grandson who at the same age took his own life. I have been working with all three of them. You will find at the end of The Last Frontier, a long section on how to make contact. If you do not succeed, let me know and I will help you. In situations like your grandson’s, it does take time for them to come out of the shock, confusion and guilt, unless you communicate with them as soon as they go over. Still each experience is unique.
In the meantime, please send me a picture of your grandson.
By the way, I fully understand your relationship with his things. You will begin to let go once you have had contact with him.
Julia
Dee
2013-08-27 @ 8:00 AM
My son was murdered July 9th 2013. So many people have come to me about seeing and speaking with my son but I have yet too. Does he know I’m scared, ready but not ready. Do you have a book or something to help me to tell him it is ok for him to come see me? He was 24 years old.
Julia
2013-08-27 @ 2:32 PM
Dee, how horrible for you! Yes, of course I have a book. It is pretty detailed about our fears of making contact with the departed and there is just as much information on how to prepare yourself and make that contact. Give it a read, if you can focus. If you need more help, just contact me. I am certain he very much wants to connect with you.
Julia
Mandisa
2014-05-13 @ 12:57 PM
I lost my daughter on the 21 April 2012. She was born on the 25 July 1980. I was heartbroken and still am. I miss her very much and have never dreamed of her since she passed away. I would like to have contact with her to know exactly what happened to her and to know how she is now. I miss my daughter very much.
Julia
2014-05-13 @ 6:24 PM
Mandisa, you can have contact with her. Many mothers do. It does not take a special talent, just focus. On my website you will find a few guidelines about how to make contact with the departed. I am always here for you when you have more questions.
I am sorry for your pain,
Julia
RITA GOMEZ
2013-08-30 @ 6:55 PM
HI, MY NAME IS RITA AND I LOST MY 28 YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER TO INTENTIONAL OVERDOSE ON NOVEMBER 8 2009… MY DAUGHTER WAS DEPRESSED. SINCE HER PASSING, I HAVE LONGED TO DREAM OF HER OR HEAR FROM HER. WE WATCHED SHOWS TOGETHER ABOUT LIVE AFTER DEATH AND I KNOW SHE WOULD KNOW HOW TO COMMUNICATE WITH ME. SOME OF MY OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS HAVE SAID THEY HAVE SEEN HER IN THEIR DREAMS AND STILL TODAY AFTER ALMOST 4 YEARS I HAVE NOT.. I MISS HER SOOO MUCH! RITA, MY DAUGHTER, WAS MY FIRST CHILD… I’M STILL IN MOURNING EVERYDAY.. PLEASE ANY SUGGESTIONS ON HOW TO COMMUNICATE…BECAUSE OF SHOWS I’VE SEEN I’M AFRAID THAT SOME UNKNOWN SOUL MAY TRY TO PRETEND TO BE HER AND MISLEAD ME.. THANK YOU .. I MISS MY DAUGHTER…
Julia
2013-10-08 @ 4:09 PM
Rita, don’t listen to those shows! They seek to sensationalize everything to get a bigger audience. First, I would ask myself, What am I most afraid of? It is unlikely that you are most afraid of some soul misleading you. More likely that you are afraid of something else, encountering too much pain or guilt. Guilt is so common with parents who have lost a child through suicide. Once you get past that you will be able to communicate. You can read how to do it in my book, The Last Frontier. Or, get help with a special kind of therapy out now that puts people in deep mourning into contact with their departed loved ones. The name of the therapy is Induced After-Death Communication Therapy. It is practiced by reputable therapists all over the States and in Germany. Usually people have success and resolution in one or two sessions. The founder of the techniques is Alan Botkin. I have provided a link on my web site where you can find a therapist near you. But here it is again: http://www.induced-adc.com/
Keep in touch. Let me know what happens. YOU CAN COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR DAUGHTER!!!!
jULIA
Sachin
2014-09-22 @ 1:50 PM
Hello I lost my 2 year son in a sudden drowning incident. He was the happiest guy I have ever known. Can some one help me in finding out if he is fine.
Julia
2014-09-23 @ 9:46 PM
Many people can. I do this for people via telephone. But you can also learn how to do this yourself. Look on my home page for a quick overview of how to do afterlife communication. Many, many parents, mothers in particular, have achieved this. They have regular contact with their deceased children and their lives are forever changed for the better.