Mothers Who Have Lost a Child

Many mothers have written me about their experiences with their children on the other side. Invariably, these afterlife encounters bring them peace, joy, and enormous wonder. Mothers who do have contact with their deceased child recover better than those who don’t. In fact, many of them go on with fresh energy to develop their intuitions, reinforced by following the research now known as afterlife studies. The result of this optimal reaction to their loss is typically a transformation in the way they understand reality. Their lives are changed forever through their child’s death.

Other mothers write because they have not had contact. They write out of extreme grief, worry, anguish, utter helplessness. They don’t know where to turn for comfort. Some of them lost their children from accidents, others from drug overdoses or suicide, still others from illnesses. Whatever the case, they are devastated, confused, often guilt-ridden, and very, very injured. They are desperate to know what happened to their child after death. My own mother went through this twice. In fact, I was born while she was in deep mourning over the death of her son the year before. My prenatal, infant and early childhood experiences were seeped in the atmosphere of sorrow that later led to my development as a medium. My second brother died twenty years before my mother passed. While she lay in a coma, he arrived and lifted her out of her body. She died on his birthday, a sign to my sister and me that she had reunited with him. I know the suffering mothers go through and I know without a doubt that there is no deeper pain.

The posts in this series come from mothers who have either written me or with whom I have worked directly. In all cases I have been given permission for their stories to be heard. In order to preserve privacy, full names are not given. The posts are offered here to serve women in grief. Through them, the many faceted experiences mothers have had, the dreams before or after their child’s death, the signs, the sense of their child being present, of their children speaking to them, kissing them, hugging them, even helping them, reinforce the experiences of others. The more grieving mothers learn about how connecting with their children works, the more mothers will have those experiences, and the fuller those experiences will be. Their combined accounts go a long way in validating these events with the afterlife, a validation that mothers in grief crave. The accounts also seem to give others permission to have afterlife encounters with their children. In fact, they seem to work as invitations.

If you are a mother who has had an afterlife encounter with your child, please let me know. If you are in need, I invite you to write me. In either case, you can write directly at the bottom of this post, or you can go to Tell Me Your Story on the home page and write me there. I will respond to you personally.

In the meantime, here is the post I wrote for grieving mothers on Mother’s Day:

There is nothing harder to endure than the death of a child. If you have lost a child, your grief is likely to surge on Mother’s Day. As a medium, I have had the privilege of bringing parents together with their children on the other side. I am also privileged to be the recipient of countless reports from mothers who have had spontaneous encounters, signs, dreams, or direct communication with their children and how these events changed their lives.

These experiences convey crucial messages to us from children who have passed. First, they want you to know that they are alive! Not only alive, but better than ever. Most appear to their parents as young adults with a mature ability to communicate that far exceeds our own, even if they died in infancy. They reassure us that their deaths were life plans made before they were conceived. In fact, parents often report that their children had announced their own deaths a day or two before a fatal accident or knew exactly when their infirmity would take them. Once they have passed, they invariably feel sorrow for what you are going through. They want you to know that it was not your fault. There is nothing you could have done to extend their lives.

Bereavement counseling has changed in the last two decades. Previously, counselors advised a complete cut with the deceased. Now they realize that staying close to the deceased minimizes or eliminates grief. New bereavement therapies have even developed that go so far as to induce communication with the departed. Most important, mothers who have discovered on their own how to directly communicate with their children recover quickly from mourning. They know that their relationships have not ended. They know that their child will be with them for the rest of their lives. They know their child is alive, safe, and thriving. They know that they will reunite with their children when they too die. In the meantime, children desperately want their parents to be happy again, to not lose their lives in pain and remorse.

Most of us hold on to memories of a person’s last dying moments. These memories are usually intrusive and cause enormous distress. If you are remembering those moments of your child’s death, especially on Mother’s Day, know that those moments are now insignificant to children on the other side, no more traumatic than getting over any illness. When that memory intrudes, immediately switch to what your intuition tells you of your child’s present condition—vibrant and joyful. It will instantly alleviate your grief. If you should have strong waves of grief chances are high that your child is right by you. Communicate. Close your eyes. See your child’s face in your mind’s eye and speak to your child from your strongest emotion. Ask questions. Get them to tell you what it’s like for them where they are now. You will be surprised! And your grief will transform into euphoria. Once you have broken the fear barrier of afterlife communication, you will be able to make contact again and again.  Your loss will become the springboard of a powerful spiritual awakening. That too was part of the plan.